Will this courtroom drama turn into a battlefield?

Settling legal disputes with exes can be a grueling process where it takes an emotional toll on both parties involved. In other words, it’s not fun and no one wants to do it.

You look at the person you once loved and wonder what the hell were you thinking. The way they look at you doesn’t make your heart melt anymore. It’s more like hearing someone scratch their nails against the chalkboard. It’s unpleasant and it makes you squirm out of terror.

Those similar feelings are evoked in this particular court hearing.

David Ostrom, a 40-year-old man from Kansas, is in the midst of a legal case with his ex-wife, Bridgette Ostrom, involving issues related to property ownership and child custody. Even though there may be some legal complications, those issues are to be expected post-divorce.

The unusual aspect of this case is Ostrom’s idea of reaching a decision that involves dueling swords. He has proposed a motion for a trial by combat where he challenged his ex-wife and her attorney, Matthew Hudson, “on the field of battle where he will rend their souls from their corporal bodies.”

Now that sounds bizarre and intense! He claims that his ex-wife has “destroyed him legally” and perhaps after binge-watching Game of Thrones, he is determined to seek revenge in a way that’s violent and unconventional.

In preparation for this battle, Ostrom has requested that the Iowa District Court grant him 12 weeks to seek out the katana and wakizashi swords needed for the fight. Yes, that’s 3 months to find a weapon to duel an ex-wife and her attorney. It’s hard not to believe that chivalry is dead.

Ostrom argues that “trial by combat has never been explicitly banned or restricted as a right in these United States” and he urges Hudson to step up to the challenge. His statement was “If Mr. Hudson is willing to do it, I will meet him. I don’t think he has the guts to do it.”

The attorney wasn’t thrilled about the challenge and he stated that “it should be noted that just because the U.S. and Iowa constitutions do not specifically prohibit battling another person with a deadly katana sword, it does prohibit a court sitting in equity from ordering same.”

The case is still pending as the judge has not reached a verdict due to irregularities with both sides’ motions. Well, phew, that saves us some bloodshed for now.

Although this case hasn’t been resolved yet, we can conclude that we live in a time where we don’t fight for love anymore. Instead, we watch our favorite TV show (Game of Thrones) and attempt to use the same dueling strategies to fight the people we once loved. Sounds absurd, right? I agree.